"To have a total stranger come up to you and you're just telling them your story and they say you inspire them. I don't think there's anything more exciting than that."
When Joni moved across the country to Washington state to be near her children, she missed the close friendships she had built over decades. She had a loving family nearby, but finding friends to share everyday life with proved harder than she expected. Retirement made those opportunities for connection even less frequent.
"I have a wonderful, supportive family, but I didn't have much of a social life outside of them," Joni shared.
About four years ago, she joined the Gordon Family YMCA to improve her health. She found a welcoming exercise class and, eventually, a circle of friends who helped Washington feel like home. Today, she helps others find that same connection as a volunteer leading Coffee Chat.
Finding Her Confidence
Building a community began with getting comfortable in a new setting. Group exercise had always felt intimidating, but Fitness Instructor and Senior Member Services Director Stefani Montague's class quickly put her at ease.
"It wasn't intimidating. It was welcoming," Joni said. "It made it very, very easy to come here."
Within a month, Joni noticed she could do more in the class without holding onto her chair. When Stefani approached her after class to acknowledge that same progress, Joni felt seen.
As her confidence grew, she tried yoga and swimming lessons. Learning to swim has long been on her bucket list, but deeper water brought panic whenever she had nothing nearby to hold onto.
Working through that fear changed how she saw herself.
"I didn't realize how fear played a big part of my life as far as how I approached things," she said.
Even her longtime friends in New York could hear a difference over the phone. Joni remembers one telling her, "You really turned into the person we always knew you were."
Now, she plays tag with her grandchildren in the pool.
Helping Others Feel at Home
Once Joni started attending Coffee Chat, the people she exercised beside became close friends. When Stephanie asked for volunteers to add another day, Joni invited friends to help. Together, they now run the gathering on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
She also helps lead Brain Fitness and organize potlucks. Recently, she began encouraging members to bring their lunch, knowing that sharing a meal can make a difference for someone who lives alone.
"It's nice to eat with someone," she says.
The friendships Joni has built extend beyond the walls of the Y. Over the past 18 months, Joni has undergone three surgeries, with recovery periods that left her unable to drive for six weeks at a time. Her friends from the Y arrived at her door twice a week to take her to rehabilitation appointments and helped her get to doctor visits.
When another surgery approached, they were ready to do it again. Having people she could count on eased the worry of getting to appointments while her family was at work.
"Everybody just shows up and helps each other out," Joni says. "They just show up."
They show up for happy occasions too, including her granddaughter's ballet recitals. For Joni, who arrived in Washington missing the friendships she had built over decades, those gestures mean a great deal.
That sense of belonging is something Joni now helps create for others. Through volunteering, she has also fulfilled another item on her bucket list: inspiring someone. People have approached her to say that seeing her build her strength and community at the Y encouraged them to try something for themselves.
"To have a total stranger come up to you and you're just telling them your story and that changed something for them. I don't think there's anything more exciting than that.
Joni knows what it feels like to hesitate before joining a group, and what can happen when someone makes you feel welcome. Each Coffee Chat gives her a chance to offer the encouragement that helped her find her own place at the Y.